Where have I been? What have I been doing? I guess the short answer is "getting my house in order". In the most literal sense, we've been settling into the new house, schools, job, and routine. But in a less literal way, there are aspects of my spiritual house that I've been getting in order as well. Let me explain.
Initially, I intended to continue writing these messages during the move. But then the transition activities overwhelmed me and it just wasn't possible. I have to say, it felt good... Like some weight had been lifted... And the fact that it felt good really bugged me. I thought and reflected on it a lot. Every time someone asked me when I was going to start back up again it made me reflect even more. After all, I love to write. I love to study God's word. I love to share the things God is teaching me. So why was I enjoying, and prolonging the hiatus? Was it just a phase I would work through? Was it a spiritual attack? Slowly the answer began to dawn on me. And I think what was affecting me affects many Christians. In a nut shell, I was coming to God as an employee instead of as His child. I spent more time asking for guidance on the next message and less time enjoying Him as my heavenly father. In the process of asking for more and more to share, I was growing less. I had to re-learn what came so natural when I was a new believer. I had to re-learn the joy of just hanging out with Him.
In retrospect, I think about it in terms of my own children. I give them chores on occasion but that is only one small sliver of our relationship. If they only ever came to me as the one who hands out tasks, I would be offended. I would miss all the other aspects of our relationship. So this week let's pray about this. The question to ask is - am I acting like an employee? Are deadlines and expectations causing me to cheapen my relationship? And if you aren't falling into this trap, perhaps you know a friend or family member who is. Additionally, pray for the leaders in your church. I'm guessing they are no strangers to this struggle.
Going forward, I plan to frequently check myself to make sure I'm remembering my sonship. That means I'm going to write when I have something to share - not just because another week has gone by. I may write more frequently... I may write less. I'll leave that up to my father. I'd love to hear any thoughts you may have.
Have a great week,
4 years ago