There is an older man I know who acted as a mentor to me when I first got saved. He was a married man with 4 children and he had a personal rule that he wouldn't allow himself to be alone in a car with a female. He shared with me that he set up this boundary to simply protect himself from himself. But he also shared that more importantly, this was his own personal rule. He was always careful to not impose this rule on others. He said you always need to err on the side of grace and not presume that all others struggle with the same temptations that you struggle with. Since then, I've met Christian men who will not go to the beach because they know the limitations of their own thought life. Yet they recognize this restriction doesn't apply to all. I've met married women who will not engage in a friendship with a man. Yet they recognize this restriction doesn't apply to all. Overall, the message here is that we need to understand our own temptations and yet, at the same time, not presume all others struggle with the same temptations. As a Christian brother or sister, it's OK and loving to warn others of potential temptations. But at the same time, don't presume all others will fall into sin. We need to recognize that some others can ride in a car with someone from the opposite sex… others can go to the beach… others can be friends with the opposite sex… If we presume that everyone will fall to the same temptations we struggle with, we pass too quickly from a loving warning to presumptive judgement.
Have a great week and a great fast.
Your brother,
Bob
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11 years ago
Speaking as one who ate from the forbidden tree (mentioned in the last post) I can say that God did know what I would do. He gave me the option to give into temptation or to run from it. Unfortunately, I gave in. It is not something I am proud of. It took me 6 years to finally forgive myself. This was only possible because a Christian brother took enough time to look past my sin and not judge me. He showed me the way but did not push me. He was my friend no matter what. I am very grateful to this brother. Had he not taken the time to introduce me to God I would have continued down that same path of self destruction. Not only me but my family as well. I owe this man my life for baptizing me thus saving me. It has been almost 2 years now and I am free. I can be in those "tempting" situations and know that my Father is watching over me and He, and ONLY He, will hold me accountable for my actions on judgment day. And I know I will stand before Him and He will know I have been a good Christian. How about you?
ReplyDeleteThank you, you know who you are,
Ray
None of us are perfect, and most of us have a past that we cannot be proud of, but I do hope that the people who read this, start asking themselves,....what is my motivation? When you make judgements or obtain a preconceived notion of someone, is it out of true love and concern, or is it because of another intrinsic value to place yourself above everyone else? How are we to bring others to a better life if we are to condem them in the process? What lessons do we teach our children by doing so?
ReplyDeleteWhen our heart breaks if one of our children are being bullied by others, being laughed at, or having false statement said behind their backs,....does it not break our Fathers heart to see any of His children do the same?
I hope that people who read this, feeling that they are so rightous to hold others accountable for their actions, hold themselves and their actions accountable first, and to constantly remind themselves, that no action should be done in the first place, without God's consent!
Brother Bob,
ReplyDeleteI believe in making men accountable and not judging them is sometimes a fine line but we men need to know the dangers of temptation.
We need to instruct men and hold them accountable for their actions even though them might perceive it an "innocent" flirt.
We all be judged by HIM in the end but until we stand before HIM, we as leaders, need to share with them the pitfalls of any wrong behaviour on their part.
There are multiple (complicated) issues floating around here…
ReplyDeleteFirst, everyone has to know and set their own limits when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, but I would strongly suggest that the majority should err on the side of caution. In addition, we are sometimes asked to make sacrifices solely to prevent outsiders from misinterpreting our actions. For example, a pastor may abstain from alcohol, not because it is a source of temptation, but because the perception (which he may have no control over) may reduce the effectiveness of his ministry. I have known many pastors and church leaders that avoid being alone with someone of the opposite sex simply to meet the biblical standard of being above reproach with a good reputation.
Which brings me to my other point. The rules are different for relationships within the Body of Christ and relationships outside the Body. Surely, only God can judge the heart, but we ARE called to judge one another (within the body) and hold each other accountable (and to the highest standards). And, of course, great care should be taken when doing so. I think what sets apart flawed relationships within the Body and flawed relationships outside the Body (because they are all flawed relationships) is that within our family there is always a path (even a Biblical recipe) towards reconciliation.
Great topic and discussion, Bob. Thanks.